The other day I wrote about how I couldn’t possibly wrap my head around the idea that I am an artist. To me, the power that that word holds is simply magical. The people I have given the title of “Artist” are truly magical beings who are masters at their craft.
And then, out of the blue, someone whom I hadn’t seen in over 6 months, excitedly sat down with me and, seeming rather sad while she said I hadn’t emailed any more of my photography to her. She’s been waiting to see me to see my work again. As she was speaking to me, she referred to me as an artist. Now, she hadn’t read my blog or understood the rabbit hole of thought after thought I’d been diving down recently. She just spoke from her heart. And she said that what I do moves her. She said when she sees my photographs, something within her actually pulsates and she is drawn into the photo.
She said that about me. About my work. It took everything to fight back the tears that were forming. She spoke about ME with this almost reverent tone. She thought of me and my work how I think about other artists. And it was all completely unsolicited, which, for me, adds incredible value to the way I can absorb it as truth.
So, perhaps I was struggling with referring to myself as an artist because of the fear behind the power of that word. If I am an artist, that carries more pressure and more weight. If I am an artist, then I have a certain expectation to live up to (self-imposed, of course).
But, I am realizing that that is nonsense.
And…to at least one other person, what I do does evoke a sense of magic and wonder in her. I mean, to hear this woman talk about my work was exactly the way I have spoken about people I look at with wide-eyed wonder regarding their craft.
I don’t think she’ll ever quite understand what she did for me, but I think it’s quite likely I’ll carry that conversation in my heart for the rest of my days. And whenever I doubt my own magic, I’ll recall her eyes and her tone, along with her words, as she spoke to me.
Thank you, Leslie, for being so genuine and for sharing your unfiltered enthusiasm about me – as an artist. Because now I do believe I carry that title.
I am an artist.
May we all know a “Leslie” who can remind us of the magic that we carry within, especially when we can’t see it for ourselves…
A Graceful Catastrophe 