It is accurate to say that it has been an incredibly challenging year – on so many fronts. People have struggled in 2020. For me, personally, I have been lucky enough that 2020 has shown me opportunity and the ability to fully lean into my redefinition of self.
Now, last year was a whole other story. 2019 was rough. Brutal. For all intents and purposes, it was catastrophic. I was rocked to my core, thrown off my path, and forced to face truths I didn’t want to. But, in the end, it was purposeful and restorative. By Thanksgiving of last year, I was fully patched and the wounds had finally begun to heal.
And then, much to my surprise, I met an incredible man the very next day. Our connection was almost instantaneous and he humbled himself to me long before I deserved such transparency. We spent a significant amount of time together early on, and then never backed off. Without fully realizing it in the moment, he provided the final bit of healing salve that was needed for my wounds. Through him, I was able to fully forgive my ex – and myself.
Which is why I can look back at 2020 and say that for me, despite the financial stress and uncertainty, it hasn’t been so bad. Overall, this year has been filled with immeasurable feelings of gratitude and an outpouring of love that is overwhelming to process. And, there’s something brewing that feels like a fresh start. Perhaps it’s because it’s an election year and the majority of us Americans voted for change. Perhaps it is because I was once again reminded that life as we know it can change with an email. Perhaps it is because my ex and I seem to finally be at a point where we can genuinely care about one another and only wish the best for each other. Perhaps it is because we are once again approaching the close to another year.
Whatever it may be, I am ready.
Last year, I felt as though I was shattered and scattered. In a lot of ways, I really was. I read a couple of quotes today, by the creator of the “The Art of the Brick,” an exhibit at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, that left an incredible impact.
“Everyday life is breaking into bits and every night we come back together, making us stronger in the process.”
and
“The moral of the story, if you must know: If you stay where you are, then you may never go. So if one would jump, and prepare for the hassle, one day they will find, they can live in the castle.”
-Nathan Sawaya
I am grateful for 2019. It was absolutely one hell of a year. And because of every single moment of those 12 months, today I am a stronger, healthier, and happier version of myself. It is because of those 12 months specifically that I can now jump, and do so with a smile on my face.
2021 will bring new changes, fresh starts, and above all else, continued adventure and love in my life. I know this not because I am capable of seeing the future, but because I am capable of creating my future. So, it is my intention to prepare, then jump and make it happen. I am in charge of my own destiny and I love the direction I am headed.
If there is one lesson I take with me throughout each and every day, it’s that our thoughts shape our reality. Think wisely, my friends, and choose to chase your destiny with grace and love. May you find some peace in your heart as you put your pieces back together tonight and wake up stronger than ever tomorrow, ready to jump. Much love to you all.
A Graceful Catastrophe 